I feelit is appropriate to start out our blog by writing Hunter’s story. I haveattempted to sit down and write it numerous times, first at two weeks, thenagain at 2 months, 3 months, 6 months and here we are at your 8 month birthday.Hunter, I do apologize because this would be a lot more detailed, includinghappy “monthday” posts on the 11th of every month, documenting yourmilestones of that month but I have the perfect excuse! We have been way toobusy having the time of our lives parenting you. Our lives have changed SO muchsince we found out we were pregnant! Everything is going so great. You are acharm, an angel, THE perfect baby! Here’s your story…
First,let me start by saying that your parents are so crazy about each other and wereabsolutely MEANT TO BE. There is no denying that. How we meant, which leads tohow you came to be will be another post to come.
Jump back in time to late Feb. 2010,we found out that we were pregnant! We wanted a baby so bad. I just KNEW that I was pregnant so Iwent to Shaws and bought the store brand pregnancy test. I took it right awayat home. I peed in the cup and let it sit. It almost immediately went to twolines but it was SO faint! I texted Jessep telling him I wasn’t sure but therelooked like two lines. He was so disappointed that I couldn’t wait but I HADto, just HAAAAD to take the test. I NEEDED to know. After having a miscarriage,I was scared this moment would never happen again, like I was broken, that Iwas not meant to have a baby so when I got thatfeeling, I HAD to go to the store. When Jessep came home, we went to the storeagain and bought a ClearBlue digital test to avoid the pink lines. When itblinked pregnant I had the best feeling, so far in my life. It is literallyunexplainable. Relief, joy, excitement, anticipation.
Fastforward through the pregnancy and telling our family and friends, which I willhave another post about someday soon, to labor.
Thursday, November 10, 2011, the day I wentinto labor. I could not sleep past 6 a.m. Just couldn’t. I went all day feelinggreat, energized, anxious, but not getting my hopes up for the due date. I gotexamined the Monday before where one of our midwives, Mary Jo, said that therewas no dilation or effacement. I went to our doula, Lydia B., who was a lastminute plan, to talk labor and delivery. I know Lydia from Winooski Swim Teamand I was friends with her little sister growing up. She served me a doubledose of Smooth Move laxative tea and gave me a hand and foot massage. WhenJessep got out of work, we rushed to sit down with our doula before I had to goto my government night class. It was about 4pm when we sat down to talk aboutour birth plan. While sitting at Lydia’s dining room table, I started to getvery sharp pains in my belly that radiated from my back. I could not sit still.I had to arch my back or move every time. All of a sudden, I got really hot and started to sweat.
After leaving the doulas’ house,Jessep dropped me off on campus to attend my 3 hours American Government class.My professor has catered to my pregnancy and has always been super supportive.He gave me all my work ahead of time, took all assignments super early and gaveme everything back before everyone else, too. He always seemed interested andwanted to give me advice every class. To my liking, he gave the impression thathe was a hippie so his advice was rather refreshing. When I came into class, heasked how I was doing. Apparently I looked in pain because he asked me morethan once if I was okay. He also mentioned the full moon and barometricpressure that were in line to work in my due dates favor. Now I look back, duedate schmue date but since we knew we were pregnant, I thought 11.11.11 waspretty darn cool. No high hopes though.
Off my rant, back to class. I haveno idea what Professor Ryder was lecturing about that night as I was havingregular timed pains. I started to time them as they began to increase inseverity. I texted Jessep. “Babe, be ready to come get me when I say.” I textedmy mom who helped me time them on the other end of the text as she attempted tokeep me calm. She was headed my way, anxious to meet her first grandson. Rightbefore the half way break, I texted Jessep, “COME NOW!”
At the break, I calmly told theteacher I had to go. In a panic, all in one heartbeat, he asked if I was inlabor, took my backpack, and grabbed my arm as if he was going to carry me. Itold him I had a ride coming to pick me up. Professor Ryder walked me to theparking lot where it was cold, dark, and raining outside. I could not help butto laugh the whole time.
When Jessep arrived seconds later(he must have FLOWN to Champlain), I got in the truck and got the urge to poop.It was URGENT! I kept debating to myself, “wait a few more stoplights until weget home or have Jess stop at a store?” STORE! There is ONE teeny tiny delifrom our house to campus, the Kampus Kitchen. I HAD TO GO! I bolted through thedoor demanding the bathroom. The girl clearly understood and brought me to therestroom. I turned on the water for sake of an audience and just let go. Whatthe…..?!?! Our childbirth educator was not kidding, you really do have a loosebowel movement before labor. I look in the dirty mirror, I look like hell. I amsweating bullets, feel dizzy, and need to sit down. It hit me. Right there inthat rinky dink bathroom. I am in labor.
I return to the truck and give Jessepic details of what he missed by waiting in the truck. He speeds home. When we got home, my mom came over. I triedto eat but was too anxious to do as I had planned: get in the tub until I couldnot wait anymore than go to the hospital, pop you out and go home. That simple.However, I sped things up too fast.
8pm I got in the tub, got anxious and called themidwives. Krista Knickerson was on duty. Ugh, so NOT who I wanted to talk to.At FAHC you meet 6 midwives. We did not like Krista because she seemed to talkto us like we are just another young couple who will someday soon make astatistic of a failed family. Anyway, I told her my contractions were 3-4minutes apart and seemed to have eased when I got in the tub and had stopped atone point. She told me there were empty rooms but needed to wait to come in. Ina way, I was disappointed she wanted me to wait to go in. I wanted things tohappen. I wanted to meet our baby boy, see what you looked like, if you weregoing to latch on right away, if you looked at all like me. I wanted to go inbut as ordered, waited. I tried to take a nap. Ya right, too anxious. Mycontractions were getting worse in pain. I wanted to make sure my cervix wassoft and took 2 black cohosh root tablets. Back to the tub I went. I texted ourdoula telling her that I think I mightbe in labor and that I will keep her posted. We exchanged text for a while.
10pm After draining the luke warm water and reheating the tub whatfelt like a zillion times, between the two of us being so anxious, we calledthe midwives again. This time, Jess spoke. I was in such pain and I felt mytailbone was going to snap. Jess reported to Krista who was unfortunately stillon duty, and told her that my contractions were 2-3 and sometimes 3-4 minutesapart and growing in pain. She said she needed to “tell me something.” Igrabbed the phone and spoke calmly.
She asked me what was going on.
I replied, “Everything Jess toldyou.”
“Uh huh...” Silent a awkwardpause.
“I feel like my tailbone is goingto snap.”
“Uh huh...” Another silentawkward pause.
“I would like to come in and seewhat’s up.”
“Well, we only want you to comeup if you are in active labor, still sounds early.”
“I am in active labor, I ampanicking and in a lot of pain,” I stress to her, not speaking so calmlyanymore, “My contractions are 2-3 minutes apart.”
“If you feel you need to bechecked out, I suppose you can come up to L&D through the ER but we may notkeep you.”
You suppose I can come up? I am asking for care, lady! And listen, itis not like I am lying about mycontractions. I understand some women are eager to get to Labor and Delivery,as I was but I truly was in labor! Meanwhile, my mom is next door at mygrandmothers’ house, trying to nap because she knows it will not be long andshe had been up since 5 a.m. Jessep called his mother. I called the doula totell her I was dying and headed up. I grabbed the bag and Jessep grabbed thecarseat. Oh, the carseat. I stared at that empty carseat since my mother boughtit for us. I literally would just STARE at it, thinking about all the places Iwould bring you in it. (Sorry, I’ll try not to go off on too many more sappyrants).
11pm I had contractions the entire way which isonly about 5 minutes. We parked the truck in the garage and went up to thewheelchairs. Jessep drove me to L&D was is literally about a ½ mile away ina chair as if he was a NASCAR driver. I was put into our room and my vitalswere checked. Fine, obviously. They asked if I wanted an IV. No way, I hadplenty to drink in my water bottle. I had written a birth plan and sent it toFAHC with my pre-registration so they shouldhave known that I wanted as little medical intervention necessary. The headnurse was so cool. She was stern yet cool and seemed like she was someone Icould ask questions of. She pushed an IV quite a few times but just like her, Iwas stern, too. She said she will be in every ½ hour to check on me. I bouncedon the ball for a bit until what’s her face midwife came in.
11:30pm Kristacame in to “make sure I was far enough into labor to stay.” I was examined andwas 3 cm dilated. She said I was, “Fine to stay because they had room.”Clearly, she did not get that I wantedto be there. In retrospect, I totally DID NOT want to be there. I should haveknown. Now, I would have had a home birth but even if I did go to the hospital,I would have waited until it was time to push! First thing I asked, “What timeis shift change?” 8am. I took a deep breath. Something about FAHC made me feellike I had no right to expect such things on my birth plan and I was anuisance. Something about Krista, too. I felt like they were going to send mehome so when Krista left, ordering bloodwork to make sure my iron was not toolow for the occasion I want an epidural, I felt relieved. I get to stay.
I studied the room. Walking around, touching everything,pushing buttons, inspecting the blankets that my son would be swaddled in. Itwas so surreal. This is where my son was going to be born.
Anyway, I asked toget into the tub and Jessep’s mom came somewhere in there.
12pm-2am Icontinued to text my doula, letting her know that I was okay and to stay homewith her kids until I needed her. Everyone in the room was sleeping, Jessepincluded. This is where I am going to be brutally honest. I grief my birthexperience because looking back, IKNOW I could have had Hunter naturally ifJessep would have supported me. He will tell me he did but sleeping when youneed to sleep because you worked all day. Um, no. I AM IN LABOR WITH YOUR SON!We paid over $400 for childbirth classes, mister, just so you could learn tosupport me. But no, I had text my doula, begging her to talk me out of anepidural. I had been up since 6am being a busy body. I was getting exhausted. Ineeded Jessep. At least my mom camein occasionally to check on me. The one time that Jessep did come check on me, he tried to rub my back but by then, Iresented him for letting me do this on my own when we practiced everything athome. I got checked again, 3.5cm. Theyinsisted on an IV. Krista came in multiple times asking me “What’s going on?”with a really weird look on her face. I always told her still feeling thecontractions. She kept on with her “Uh-huhs” and long awkward silences after.
2am The nurseconned me into it saying that if I wanted to get an epidural as I looked tired,that I should get an IV now so when I do throw my white flag in, that I couldget it ASAP. I got the damn IV.
From 2am-4am Iwas in and out of the tub. I got checked again, 4cm. I surrender. I did notthink I could do it alone. As much as I wanted to bring my precious son intothis world without drugs, I asked for the epidural. I could not push with whatlittle energy I had. I was so tired I could not even think of things to help mylabor. I needed sleep. I dried off, went pee and got in the bed. Theanesthesiologist came in fairly quickly. I felt heavy. Guilt. I did not wantthat damn needle. I wanted Jess. I needed Jess. To this day, he thinks hehelped. I do not see it. I was balling. Sobbing. The young nurse with theanesthesiologist asked me, “Why are you crying?” “I did not want anyinterventions.” She replied, “Everyone gets one, honey.” I felt like I wastreated as if my birth plan was out of the question. Everyone in ChittendenCounty RAVES of Fletcher Allen Health Care for their birthing ward and staff.Well, I say different. For coming in with an all-natural birth plan, informedof my options, they pretty shitty and not supportive.
Theanesthesiologist, a gentlemen, explained to me crap I already knew. Stillsobbing, they place Jessep in front of me to hold me. I balled on his shoulder,nervous that this would paralyze me or something. It burned like hell. Not 30minutes later, I was asleep. Everythingis a blur after that. The next events I write of happened, not sure if they arein exact order and not sure of many times but I know I was checked on everyhalf hour and that I was eager to see Mary Jo.
I sleptfor awhile. I was strapped to the contraction and baby heartrate machines. Sometime after, they broke my water. It was a lot of warm water and every time Imoved after that, more fluid came out. I needed a catheter, too. I pounded thewater so no wonder I needed one. It was not fun, especially with Krista.
At some time, they reported that the epiduralseverely slowed down my contractions and that I needed Pitocin. My mind wentracing but I signed up for this going to FAHC, putting the last nail in thecoffin of my birth plan when I asked for the epidural. I think the Pitocin was administered at 9am so I saw Mary Jo beforethen, I think? I do remember it was refreshing to see her. The low dose did notdo much. They wanted to increase. I was so drowsy that I told them go aheadwith the larger dose. I slept more, switching sides when I felt my leg going tosleep. The epidural made me so itchy. I know way more people than allowed cameinto my room and stayed for a while. I was so out of it I do not know who wasthere and what time it was but I do know they saw me practically nakey as I wasfalling out of my gown. I slept for awhile longer until Mary Jo came in tocheck me a little after 2pm.
“Erin, you are at 10cm, it is time to push.” My heart sank. I felt like I did not know whatto do. Mary Jo set up and checked me one more time. She said I was 100% effacedand your head was “right there.” Onenurse took one leg, Jesseps’ mom taking the other. My mom called my Gram whowas supposed to be in the room with me but felt like she had the flu the daybefore so she could not come. Gram was on the phone listening to me push Hunterthe whole time. I touched your head. Oh, my goodness. I touched you! I evenwatched you with a mirror. At some point, Lydia came back and had Danielle’scamera. She took awesome photos, some that you can see when you are mature. Ican remember clear as day what I saw in the mirror.
2:30pm Everyone coached me, “he is so close, you’realmost there, push hard!” Fourcontractions or so later, you were born. You had pooped right before you cameout so your father could not cut the cord which really made us sad.
Hunter RobertGaudette 7lb 10oz 21in
Your father ran over to the warmingtable where they checked you out, put your matching bracelet on, etc. He ranback over to me and said, “Oh my god, babe, he’s so cute!” I was sobbing,obviously. I remember looking like complete hell but I felt great. I justpushed a baby out. I cannot give myself as much credit as I would like tobecause I am much more informed on birth now in regards to how much is actually necessary but it was easierthan I thought.
I delivered the placenta sometimeafter that. I remember seeing it but did not pay much attention. I wanted tohold you. The skin to skin did not happen immediately like I wanted as youpooped before and I still grieve that, 8 months later. I had to get twostitches at you were fairly big considering how small I am plus, you came outfast, not giving me time stretch. Another downside to an epidural, you do notknow when you are tearing because you cannot feel it so you just push as hardas possible.
A few minutes after you were born,you were wiped off and put on my chest. You were (and still are) SO SOFT! Youwere so alert, wide awake, and bright eyed. That clearly stuck to you because,still today, when there is so much going on, you sit back and observe. You donot need to be involved to be happy. They put a hospital hat on you at first but OH, NO! Not Hunter. He HADto have the camo beanie! About a half hour or so after you were born, I keptasking, should I feed him? Not sure why I was waiting, I should have done itright away but the staff was making me nervous. I attempted to get you to latchbut you just were not hungry.
A group of family and close friendscame flooding in. Grandpa La La, Grandpa David, Uncle Casey, Michelle,Danielle, and Monica. We all took pictures with you then it was time to go to“the dungeon.”
5pm Ironically,Shep 5, the new baby ward at FAHC is dark and gloomy. Prior to your birth, wewent on a tour of FAHC birthing ward and they told us that fathers areconsidered visitors and must leaving after visiting hours have ended. NO WAY INHELL WAS YOUR FATHER LEAVING! If he had to go, we were going with him! I do notunderstand. You are OUR baby. This is sacred family bonding time. The room wasTINY and had two patient beds. I asked right away if Jess had to leave. Yep. Itold my nurse, “I want to be discharged.” She tried like hell to talk me out ofit. She told me I needed to latch you on at least 4 times, had to makesure I can pee, and watch the video. I knew I had the right to leave and theywere damned if they were making me stay the night without Jessep or making mestay. I told her I already went pee (I really did) and would watch the video. Wewaited forever for the FAHC pediatrician came to check you out because yourpedi at the time was not associated with FAHC. She said you were good to go!
In themeantime, Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jason, Jen, and Shane all came to visit you. We gotyou dressed in your little newborn Carter’s fleece outfit that came with abrown and red vest that had a little tractor sewn to it. Of course, stillrocking the camo hat! You still had no latched. You did once for half a secondbut not long enough to call it a latch. I got my IV taken out, got dressed andthe nurse said, “I have never seen someone so energized and ready to roll afterjust giving birth.” We filled out birth certificate paperwork then. She watchedus strap you in. Audios, FAHC, this Momma leaving with baby in tow after beingthere less than 24 hours!
(I feel like I missed something. This was very overwhelming and took me DAYS!)
